Chapter 42 - Deserter Angle

There's an old saying:

Even if you enter a tiger's den, you can survive if you keep your wits about you.

If you just fall down and cry in the tiger's den, you'll simply become the tiger's lunch special. But if you keep your head and plan an escape route, there's a chance you can successfully flee.

It's the same now.

What happens if I just break down crying because I'm surrounded by three A-Rank Heroes? I'll get beaten up and dragged away.

But if I keep my wits about me here, I can make it back alive.

The power dynamic that comes from the difference in information each side possesses.

That's what I decided to exploit.

I know them, but they don't know me.

This is crucial. It's what gives me the power to survive.

Let's look at the current situation.

The terrorist group is all dead, and Shadow Walker easily subdued their leader. Bound hand, foot, and mouth, stuck to the ground like a mummy.

Looking at it that way, there's no problem at all, but the problem is me.

A lunatic who appears to have killed everyone except Monkey Spanner all by himself.

Here's one interesting point:

They can't touch me carelessly.

They still don't know who I am.

They still don't know my power.

They can only roughly guess I'm very strong from looking at the fallen terrorists. They don't know how strong.

And the unknown can create fear. What if I'm far stronger than they think? What if I could eliminate everyone here with a snap of my fingers?

Also, there are hostages here right now.

If things go south and I suddenly try to kill the hostages, it would be a real disaster. Especially when they don't even know if I'm a hero, a villain, or just a lunatic.

The conclusion:

They can't touch me yet. They don't know my power exactly, and there are hostages.

So that's why I can pull off this kind of stunt.

"Kids these days have absolutely no manners. Back in my day, when a higher-ranked hero passed by, you'd bow ninety degrees from the waist. That's what professionalism and courtesy mean. But these young punks are staring up at me with wide eyes... Truly, the end times are upon us. Even though I'm currently, uh, active overseas, once I revealed I'm an S-Rank Hero, you should've immediately started using honorifics. Where do you get off speaking informally..."

"Excuse me."

While I was rambling on with my nonsense festival, Stardus, who had been listening, cut me off and spoke up.

"I just got word from the Association that there's no S-Rank Hero with the hero name you gave... F-Mego or Apple Mango or whatever overseas either. What exactly are you?"

Mm, when did she contact the Association again?

Oh right, they all have earphones plugged in that connect directly to the Association President.

...And now that I think about it, I seem to have chosen my hero name poorly. Coming up with it on the spot, I just said whatever popped into my head, but it seems the Mango Squad guys contaminated my brain and produced that catastrophic name.

Anyway, a first-rate villain doesn't panic at something like this.

Can I move my hands? Yes, I can move my hands now. If I hold out just a bit longer, I'll be able to teleport too.

I clenched my fist and slammed it on the armrest with a thud as I spoke. A first-rate villain must shake the listener's mind too. I launched into another brain fart.

"I can't believe these ill-mannered punks. Of course you don't know me since I'm hiding my identity while active. You think personal information gets leaked carelessly? So suspicious for no reason... And your Association President! I've had meals with your Association President, drinks, went to the sauna, did it all, man!"

The expressions of the three who heard that became strange. Mm, was that too much of a stretch? Now that I think about it, there's no way someone young-looking like me would go to a sauna with the middle-aged Association President, right? The President would deny it anyway.

Even for a nonsense festival, that was too much nonsense. I hurriedly added more to salvage the situation.

"...Oh, and do you guys know this? The Association President's name is Park Jun-ho, right? He changed it. His original name was Park Mak-chun. Our Mak-chun used to whine all the time about hating his name, then sneakily changed it? Cute, so cute."

Stardus, who had been listening to me, flinched after hearing something through her earphone. That's right, you didn't expect me to know that, did you? Even in the original work, this came up as truly useless TMI, but I never thought I'd use it like this.

Anyway, I bought a little more time with the untimely revelation of the Association President's pre-name-change identity while briefly going off-topic. Good.

But that was brief. Ice Maiden of the North Sea immediately spoke up.

"No, how are we supposed to believe... you? In the first place, does it make sense to suddenly claim you're an S-Rank Hero without giving us any proof or anything...? To me, you look like a villain too..."

Her words trailing off.

Wait, she actually listened to all that? What good kids. Stardus and Shadow Walker are already just not listening and have an attitude of 'let's see how far he goes.' They're looking at me like grandpas watching their grandchildren's talent show. Don't look at me like that just because I know I'm having a brain fart.

And you said it well. Fuck, the end of a brain fart is putting on a straight face. Whoever gets serious first wins.

"A villain? Me? Hahaha."

Hahahahaha.

"Hahaha! Hahahahahaha!"

Me, suddenly laughing like a madman in this place filled only with silence.

Going from seriously spouting nonsense just moments ago to this, it gives off an even more chilling feeling... is what I'm hoping for.

And right here, abruptly—

I suddenly stop laughing.

After laughing while looking into empty space, I suddenly lower my head.

Then I raise my head back up, lower my voice, and speak quietly as if stating an obvious fact.

"If I were a villain."

"You would all already be dead right here."

My words descending like a proclamation from the top, my hand resting against my face. Fuck. It's a bit cringy but I endured it.

At the sudden threat, the hostages tense up, and Stardus and Ice Maiden of the North Sea also shift into combat stance. Ready to fight while protecting the hostages.

And that bastard Shadow Walker... he's just spacing out. Looks like he's not thinking about anything. Well, since it's nighttime, he won't die anyway, so he's probably not that tense.

As if the atmosphere from just moments ago was a lie, this place instantly became a hair-trigger situation.

When everyone swallowed nervously and tensed their bodies in preparation for a battle that could break out at any moment.

I suddenly grinned and waved my hand dismissively.

"Haha. Just kidding. As if I'd intimidate my juniors. Relax."

At my suddenly shifting mood, the two still haven't regained their composure. Brain farts are supposed to go up and down so they can't get their bearings.

That's when Shadow Walker, who had been blankly watching me, quietly whispered into his earphone.

"...Should we just attack? If the three of us rush him, I don't think he'll win anyway. Let's knock him down first and think about it later. If he really is a hero, we can apologize then."

Hey you bastard, I can hear everything, everything.

Ice Maiden of the North Sea, hearing what Shadow Walker conveyed through the earphone, nodded excitedly, while Stardus shook her head. Probably worried about the hostages getting caught up in it. Kugh, as expected, you're the only one, Stardus.

I desperately pretended not to hear. No, if I act like I heard that here, it'll be a disaster. If I stay calm after hearing something like that, my concept of an 'arrogant S-Rank Hero hiding his identity' will completely collapse. But if I get angry and fight? No, actually it's not even fighting. If a fight breaks out because I got angry, I'll be beaten up and dragged away in five seconds. That absolutely can't happen...!!

But actually, my strength is already gradually returning. I've stalled for quite a while. Good, now I've got a decent escape angle. Let's bolt.

But before I go.

Mm...

Since I've gone to the trouble of establishing this senior hero concept, should I say what I want to say before leaving?

After clearing my throat with a ahem, I quickly said what I had to say while I had their attention.

"Anyway, it was nice to see my junior heroes. Even if you lack manners a bit... Let me give you some advice as your senior: when you face a threat, don't run away—fight it head-on. No matter how big, no matter how insurmountable the hardship and adversity you encounter seems, don't back down. You're heroes. If heroes don't run away."

"You can definitely win. Calamity? Disaster? All meaningless. If you have the will, if you have the will. Overcoming it is far too easy."

I spoke while turning my head, but said the last words while looking at Stardus. She seemed slightly surprised? Trembling? when our eyes met. Hmm. Is she starting to wonder if I might actually be a hero because of my sudden sermon? That's good. Or maybe she just thinks I'm an idiot. Whatever.

And what's even better is that my power has returned now.

Now, it's time for farewells.

In other words, it's escape time. Time to bail.

"Well, I've done what I needed to do. I'll be going now. Farewell. Adios."

With those words, I gave a little wave and suddenly teleported.

As I vanished, they seemed incredibly flustered...? Actually, they didn't really seem that flustered at all. Must be my imagination, right? Either way, I was already standing behind Seo-eun and Subin.

"Hup."

Then I grabbed them both and teleported back to the car. I moved so fast that no one could have seen. Probably.

"Kyaaaah!"

Crash.

I barely managed to teleport into the car.

But at the last moment, my strength completely drained away, so the three of us ended up tumbling into the car. Sorry, I just barely made it here on fumes...

"Ugh... Oppa, are you okay?"

"No... I'm dying..."

I'm actually dying.

I'm about to lose consciousness right now. This is definitely going to knock me out for at least a week. I'm screwed.

Before collapsing, I left my final words... not a will, but a message.

"Urgh... Seo-eun, delete all the hotel records right now. CCTV and entry logs, stuff like that. We're screwed if we get caught..."

"Yes!"

Collapsing into the back seat, I handed Seo-eun the laptop I'd moved earlier and said,

"And Subin... please drive us back to Seoul quickly. With all the chaos from the terror attack, we should be able to slip away unnoticed. Hurry..."

There's no way those Association idiots would have secured the perimeter thoroughly.

It'll be a complete mess instead. I used to curse them out when I saw them do this in comics, but at times like this, it's actually pretty helpful. Thanks!

"Y-yes!"

Subin frantically grabbed the steering wheel.

Good. I've done everything I needed to do.

Now my consciousness is slowly fading...

Right now, I don't have any Fatigue Recovery Capsules or anything. In other words, I'm screwed.

"I'm going to... sleep for a bit. So then..."

After saying that much, my consciousness, pushed to its limit, finally cut out.

As I collapsed, my last thought was this:

Somehow, it seemed like I'd managed to avoid being exposed by using that bizarre S-Rank Hero Apple Mango concept.

Who knew that acting crazy just to buy time would have such an unexpected effect?

Yeah, now I can sleep peacefully...

***

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